Ode to Beardies

Know what makes a great scientist? The size of his beard.... that's right, little known secret but apparently all that genius goes straight to their hair follicles. Darwin probably kept the a few galapagos turtles hidden under there. Magellan on the other hand, I dunno... his beard just isn't as awesome, you know why? He wasn't a scientist, all that navigating crap took a toll on him. He's probably saying to himself, what's with all this GPS shit? I don't get it.What ever happened to good 'ol adventuring and stuff man? Well too bad Magellan, you'll just have to try harder next time.

Must not speeeeend

No, don't do it!

Don't push out another 50 bucks just to buy some shirt you'll only wear once, realize the failure of longevity, keep at the farthest end of your drawer and let it mold out of sight. Haaaa, must resist. Definitely don't need anymore teeshirts or tanks... socks are always essential but who the hell cares what they look like if they're always under shoes or getting dirtied from the dorm hall floors; holes add character right? Still trying to find the perfect pair of slouchy pants and drapey top without looking like the bum I am, but I'll always be a bum so what does it matter... don't spend a few bucks to lose a few bucks. I need to sweep out my closet, donate some clothes and keep a limit to 15 essential things... yessss, exxxxceeeelent. This plan will be implemented as soon as I stop being the consumerist bitchah I am. God bless the world and all of its paradoxes! 

Now here's a reposted picture... woocha!